As mentioned in my previous post, these past few months have proven to be very transitional for me. I have started sorting out my life and most of all myself. Ever since I started University in London I have met many different people and all of them have affected my life in various ways. From the girl that I used to spend most of my time with in her little blue dorm room, to living with my best friend in my first house. I have been blessed to say the least, in every way. People have let me down, I will not lie. Tears and anger have gone a long way inside of me, all until I realized that each person you meet is a story. Every person you come across, is the sum of what experiences, emotions, and circumstances have made them. Each person you meet loves something, fears something, and has lost something. Remember that. I started University with the potential for everything, potential to become whoever I wanted to be, and to meet people that would fill up my days with love and laughter. The funny thing about me, and I see this as a major character flaw and set back, is that my emotions have everything to do with the people I interact with. I’m more of a ride or die person, I attach myself to the people I love and feel comfortable with, I forgive all their flaws and expect the same from them, in addition to the fact that I will do anything humanly possible to see them happy, because that transfers into me instantly. I depend on people way to much, and this has proven to be very disappointing most of the time. I have come to the conclusion that people are social beings that have that inner need to belong, at least that’s what they taught us in our psychology course, however with the technological development of 21rst century, I can help but look around and see how easy communication has become, and how insignificant it is to interact with the people around you when you have a whole friend list from all over the world that comes alive with one touch of your finger. As though human need for empowerment and control is summed up in that little piece of machine that has become imperative we carry around everywhere. I’m part of a group of friends, and when I try to remember them, the first image that comes to mind the brightness of their face, transfered from their phone. I know more about the type of machinery they use, and what they prefer to do with it, than I do about them. Them as people, as separate individuals, that think and have opinions, have likes and needs. I don’t know my friends’ favorite colors, but I do know how many Facebook friends they have. And them again, when we’ll all hang around together, there will always be that one person that manically checks their phone, which is almost as though that transfers a subliminal message to everyone else and suddenly everyone reaches out to their phone (reach out is a bad choice of word, it’s never that far away). And this disappoints me and gets me angry. I get angry at myself as well, when I realize that if I lost my phone, well, I’d be monumentally screwed. What defines us as people, are not our experiences and our stories, it’s what is inclusive in our phones. Which sucks ass. I find myself not having many things to say anymore to anyone. I’d rather remain quiet and look through the images in my phone. That’s bullshit. I want to speak to people, to truly get to know them. I want to talk about art, culture, movies, and life. I’m sick of lives controlled by screens. And then you’ll just look at this as you read it, your eyebrows raised, “Um. This is a blog. It’s online. What are you going on about?” Don’t get me wrong, I feel like a fucking hypocrite as it is going on about how terrible it is that people get sucked into screens, whereas I’m sitting here typing on my computer, Facebook and Youtube opened in tabs next to this, and my Iphone on my lap. Trust me I would rather be writing in my little red notebook and be sipping wine and smoking cigarettes in Paris, but don;t get me wrong from all of this. I don’t reject technology, not at all, I’m even proud of the human race that has developed such skills. I just disapprove being sucked into a virtual world and rejecting moments. It would be a cliche on my part to say something like live in the moment, or something like that, but moments past, and memories build up, and I would rather have a million memories of people around me and simply how they would stand in a room, rather than memories of scrolling through Profile Pictures. I miss having soul consuming conversations, I miss drinking one and appreciating the beauty of the simplest moments. And I miss doing that with other people. Because I want to take the people I love by the hand and be like, “look at how damn beautiful the British sky is, how majestic and ominous the clouds are, but how hopeful the sun glimmers through the darkness” Now that should make everyone happy. And all I see are bored faces, and minds fills with fast knowledge, fast information, fast images, and fast internet. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about 4G, and mega G, and stuff that I don’t even understand. Again, I ‘m not rejecting technology, not at all. Use it wisely. It’s such a privilege we have had, to be able to use our minds in such ways that we havecreated new worlds through a screen, we are blessed, but that’s not all there is. Appreciate beauty, appreciate people. You don’t even have to speak. Sit next to them, see how they act, listen to their breathing, look at how they stand in the room. Appreciate how beautiful it is to have another human being standing next to you and sharing the rarity of this extraordinary moment just with you.